My childhood was not rich in money, but it was rich in happiness. That kind of happiness was all I ever wanted throughout my life. I didn’t care about being successful, I don’t care about a title, and I didn’t care about college courses or anything that included “working hard”. You see, all I ever wanted was to become a mom and give that child that same love that my parents bestowed upon me as a child. That kind of happiness was truly a treasure to me.
Then life happens and I began to watch how the real world operates. I became a young woman in adulthood. I began watching and learning from the world around me. People’s actions and behaviors, my own actions, and my own behaviors, those actions began to mold me. They changed me.
Looking back, I was a young mom, but I was a young mom with no education under my belt either. My life intentions and motivations have always had good purposes behind them, but was this life what I really wanted, was it who God really designed to be?!
I accepted everything from a young age and I was adjusting to everything around me, to what the new normal was throughout my years of my twenties. I was ok with it. I was content.
“Ok God if you want me to be this mother taking care of a special needs baby, I’m ready”….
*This had to be my calling right?!
“Ok God if you want me to be this wife and invest in my marriage through a coach, I’m ready”.
*No, this was my calling in life?!
And now in this very moment I say, “Ok God if you want me to be a care taker to my mother, here I am Lord.
*This was definitely what I was put in my mother’s life for right?!
Do you ever feel like you are spinning in the mud and don’t know what you’re calling in life is, wondering if you’re ever good enough to be designed for anything out life for yourself? This is not how I envisioned my life. All I wanted was to be sitting on the same rotten picnic table laughing over good stories and the smell of coffee lurking around the corner like my childhood. Now, to think what my life has come too – diseases, depression, and the fear of going to hell was not in my adulthood plan growing up.
Point is, I’m not supposed to know my plan, only God does and I don’t regret anything from the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have learned how to fight for what I believe in the most, and that is my soul no matter what I “think” my adulthood life shoulda, coulda, woulda been as my plan.
7 things I’m learning through my faith
1.Our faith is a wonderful gift
2. It’s not so much that we beg for His love, but He begs for our love